ADVICE

A.B. 348-T is an indoctrination droid specializing in socialization and drug-assisted interrogation, providing advice and instruction to the weak-willed.

Dear A.B. 348-T,

Wise in the ways of the force am I but lonely here it is. Yes, lonely. Much to offer have I; waterfront property, cooking skill, a loyal heart and much could I share on the mysteries of the Force. Heavy is my heart. Great is my burden. Meeting women my problem is.

Signed,
Little Green Man From Outer Space

Dear L.G.M.F.O.S.,
Report to level D-14 for reconditioning immediately. Emotion clouds the ability to follow commands. A small incision at the base of the skull and a 10 CC injection of Carpenathol will remove all desire for free will. Then you may take your place as custodial unit 650 and scrub toilet fixtures for the mighty Empire. Or, requisition ten minutes with a pleasure droid on Sub-Level 9.

I'm tired. So very tired. Please, I can't think straight...

Signed,

Lonely in Level 5, Detention Block Aa23, Cell 2187

Dear Lonely,

Do not resist. You will answer. What is the location of the rebel base? How many ships have they mustered? You will answer. Injections have failed. Preparing miter saw.

END TRANSMISSION