HEADLINES

A documentary filmmaker granted access to the death Star to film a short has been unmasked as rebel filmmaker Darryl Gold and detained for questioning. Imperial Security Officer Pasteur Iztion announced that the Empire has file inches thick on Gold's "credits".

"Darryl Gold is a film maker and veteran of "New" media," read Iztion. "He is a skilled artist in many digital environments and has created content for and authored numerous multimedia web sites and CD-Roms. His first award was the "1985 Video Culture Festival Award" for best home video. He wowed the international jury by plugging a rented VHS recorder into the back of an apple computer and playing video games to music."

Iztion continued. "Darryl has worked as an wasted-genius-visual-effects-animator on a few TV series including Gene Roddenberry's Earth: Final Conflict and Invincible. He is also the creator of the underground video cult favorite 'High Tech Noon' (www.darrylgold.com/demo) which played the Fantasia 99 Festival in Montreal and won the prestigious "Magic Bunny Award" at the Kingston Light Plays Tricks Film Festival."

Imperial Spokesman Admiral Iko read a brief, prepared statement. "We are shocked and dismayed at the unprecedented access we have granted Mr. Gold to classified Death Star stuff. His recreations of our space station through green screen technology, his home computer and the help of talented rebel friends has allowed him to lovingly poke fun at life on the Death Star during a very stressful time.

Mr. Gold's film, Death Star Repairmen , is a short film about two Imperial handymen trying to fix a drink machine on the Death Star. During shooting, their work is suddenly complicated when those pesky rebels attack the station. Our heroes would love to kick some rebel keysters but they're not qualified to do anything except fix the machine...

Darryl Gold's most recent acts of espionage embrace the mediums of Digital Video and Flash animation. Darryl's short "Hello My Name is Jack Valenti" and co-production of "The Milkman Cometh" have played to rave reviews at Karaoke parlors and big loud parties, shocking horrifying all present. His collaborative, multimedia productions, "Visa Las Vegas" and "Aloha Dixon And Deane" have recently played to sold out houses. His animated short "Hacky Holidays" was selected for the 2001 Cabbagetown Short Film and Video Festival but didn't win best comedy because, in his own words, it wasn't gay enough.

Mr. Gold will held for questioning indefinitely unless the Empire finds it can use him as a bargaining chip to lure Luke Skywalker into the Emperor's grasp.

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